It may look like I am awake and typing this but really I'm just functional enough to sit upright at my desk. Why am I so sleepy?//Since everything* started I have vowed not to say anything bad about my ex husband in front my children. And since they might read this one day I will simply state that he called at about 5:30 pm yesterday to tell them "Happy Easter." He wanted me to "put them on the phone so he could talk to them." Um, they're 2 years old and they hardly talk at all. And that is all I will say about that.

Okay so aaaaaaanyway, new topic. I am not saying this to make you feel pity for me, but if that is a side effect of your reading this I really can't control that now can I? I have the bad bad feeling that my computer will be dead soon. (If you're new to my blog you don't know that I appealed to my readers for financial assistance in the purchase of a new computer, so see the side bar at left to read the whole sad story.) The reasoning behind this morbid assumption stems from a couple of things. One, I tried to defrag it and it won't defrag. Every time I try I get an error message that part of the C drive is inaccessible. What? Then, to top things off, we finally got DSL here. But when I tried to install DSL on this puny little machine, I found out that it had no network card. I didn't know what that meant or if it was even capable of getting one and if so how much would that cost bc I didn't want to spend alot money I don't have adding something onto a computer that will probably be inoperable soon.

When I took it to the local computer shop, I was a little embarrassed. Luckily I semi-know the lady who owns it so I explained to her that it was given to me, I know it's a pathetic little thing, blahblahblah but could she make it DSL compatible and if so how hard would we be hittin my wallet? I have to say she did not outwardly smirk at my sad computer she simply took it apart and said, yeah I can put the ethernet(?) thingy in here for 30 bucks, but do you hear that sound? she asked. What sound?? I replied with a cracked little voice. That loud grinding sound coming from inside the computer. Yeah, I answered, whispering in a scared fashion. That's the fan and the __________ (fill in some computer word I don't remember.) That's not normal? I asked. Oh no, she laughed heartily. That's real bad. (me)Well, what can you do, I mean, is it gonna explode or what? I told her about the whole defragging thing. That's not good, she tells me. Uh-huh.

She takes it in the room in the back where they hook all the wires up and analyze stuff and make weird gestures with their eyebrows which by the way makes the computer owner very uncomfortable. How bad is it? I ask. No response. How much more time do we have together? I plead. Her answer, "There's nothing I can tell you for sure about how much longer it'll hold up. Could be 3 hours, could be 3 days, 3 weeks, shoot, maybe 3 years." (me, hopefully) 3 years? (her) Yeah but I seriously doubt it. (me thinking out loud to her) Nice.

So that, people, is the deal. The grand total I have so far in the computer fund is.........drumroll please..........$30.50. Yes, that is how much some nice people have given me. So just think, if 969.5 more nice sympathetic people have pity on me and send me 1 buck each, I will get a new computer!!! Isn't that exciting??!!! Plus I have about 20 auctions ending in 2 days or so on Ebay which should help a little.

Additional random things: Did anyone see Crossing Jordan last night who can tell me what happened after Bug got hit in the head bc that's when I fell asleep.

Speaking of falling asleep, I would like to note that I have slept for four straight nights now without any pharmaceutical assistance. That is a big thing for me bc I have not been able to sleep without medicine, and sometimes even the medicine doesn't make me sleep, since everything* happened. Will this exciting pattern continue?

On Saturday I talked to my new friend Renee on the telephone! That's the first time I have heard the actual voice of someone I met online. Cool. (Hi Renee.) She can testify that I am a real person and that I babble on incessantly in real life as well.

Okay I think that's all for now. It has taken me like 3 hours to write this in between my jobstuff. The nerve of some people to interrupt me.

*meaning the implosion of my entire existence caused by the behavior of the person to whom I used to be married