Be afraid, be very afraid. (of this post)
Tuesday, March 29, 2005

Blogger has been totally wacked all morning long. You know, it's free and all but come on now- it's completely ridiculous how often you try to post, edit, or leave folks comments and you can't because all you get is a system error. Wouldn't you think that enough people would have complained by now that they would have fixed it? Or if they're doing maintenance or something why not do it in the middle of the night. Okay so that would be different for people around the world, but let's not get technical.

My bedroom is a wrecked out junkpile. Since it's the only room the monkeys never go in, I have been putting anything I find or have to move that I don't want them to have.

  • Electric heater that used to be in their room until they started climbing out of their cribs, check.
  • Tub of ebay clothes, check.
  • Basket of magazines and rippable books, check.
  • Basket and hamper of dirty clothes, check.
  • Basket of clean clothes, pile of clean clothes, both now wrinkled beyond recognition because I didn't have time to fold them, check.
  • Huge stuffed baboon lent to me for bday party decor then given to the girls to keep but too big for living room, check.
  • Rechargable cordless Barbie Bissell vacuum, check.
  • Tons of other assorted crud that has migrated to the back of the house and been thrown in my room, check.

Whenever (like this morning) I am home and come in here to try to clean/sort/organize it, my children do everything they can think of to deter me from my goal. Just when I think there is nothing else accessible for them to put in their mouths, take apart, or otherwise find a potentially hazardous use for, they find something. I was in here earlier and I heard them whining/arguing over something that was making the weirdest sound and I said "What is that?" Hannah came and held up close enough for me to see, but not touch, this round soundmaking thing that used to be in the bottom corner of their "It's Time to Potty" book. Evidently, she had dissected it out of the book and was now pushing it repeatedly to the dismay of her sister who wanted it so she could make the potty flush too. Not only does did it make the world's longest flushing toilet sound but it also has this little girl giggling gleefully and for an unnaturally eerie amount of time after the flush sound, so joyous and happy, I suppose, that she has used the potty.

Since it was too big too choke on and the battery was sealed inside, and I didn't feel like chasing her for it, she kept the flush flush thing going for quite a while until she had drooled on it so much that the sound 1.wouldn't stop 2.turned into a sound like a slow motion tape recorder 3. turned into a sound like the squealing of brakes. I finally took it and smothered it under some clothes on top of the washer til the battery runs out. It's still there now, doing its thing.

Am I whining too much today?? I don't care because that's the mood I'm in. It's overcast and yucky and I have to get ready for work and before I got to work I have to go pay a 200.00 fuel oil bill which would put a damper on any day but this one is already shot. I wish the phone would ring and it would be a lawyer saying hey monkey mama some really rich old person you used to know but don't remember died (painlessly and happily after a full and vibrant life) and they left you all their money which is a trillion billion dollars and it has alreaady been deposited into your bank account tax free. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA (a high pitched bordering on needs to be locked up crazy lady laugh)

Yes, I know, money doesn't buy happiness; I have two beautiful healthy children who are smart, in fact brilliant enough to get the potty button out of their book; I have a job, a roof over my head, a vehicle, a hair appointment on Friday, a loving family and food to eat. There, I counted my blessings are you happy now? (smacks own hand) BAD ATTITUDE! Go get ready for work!

So, how are you today? :)


Update: After I posted this and was getting ready for work, I realized that every single bath towel in my house was in the washing machine. I ended up drying off with two hand towels. Then, when I went outside to get in my mommy mini-van, I observed that a large flock of what had to have been gargantuan birds had left special presents for me all over my vehicle. Commence to pity me.

Now I'm at work and they all think I'm just a normal person in her office working happily. BWAH ha!


Anonymous Anonymous said...

Glad you got the birds I ordered for you :) - UJ

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Anonymous Anonymous said...

hey now...I ordered birds too. No wonder its a mess. Money might not buy happiness but it sure does help. I'm so glad you're not normal. I like you that way.

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Who's the Monkey Mama?

Location: Planet Twinstar, Monkeyville, United States

I'm a real live human person...the slightly wacky mom of 6 year old identical twin primate princesses and one 2year old monkeyboy. I'm divorced from a crazy baboon and remarried to a big snuggly gorilla. I thank God daily for my wonderful family and friends, without whom I would go berserk. My chirren are the cutest kids ever born (besides yours) and if you don't believe that you obviously need to see a shrink.

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