I'm not Catholic but...
Sunday, May 01, 2005

I have to confess something to you. I dread going to church now because I cannot stand the Pastor. (gasp) Go ahead, blast me off the globe I don't care. I have to say it. It's a long long long story but it comes down to a few key things:

  1. he actually lies and gets caught. not just once but over and over and over
  2. he doesn't like outspoken women (clears throat) and makes their lives a living hell when they disagree
  3. he is lazy and does everything he can to get out of actually fulfilling his responsibilities
  4. he pits church members against each other
  5. he's not sure if he was ever actually "called" to ministry

So stop whining and go to another church you say. No. Because this is the church I grew up in and it's a United Methodist church so pastors don't stay a lifetime and HE'S FINALLY LEAVING IN JUNE AFTER 3 LONG YEARS. I admit I have considered it, but when it comes down to it, why should I let him drive me out of my church? Yes I have let him irritate the living crud out of me for 3 years and suck the joy right out of my church involvement but I will actually party the day he moves out of the Parsonage. I have been through every emotion available regarding this and re: forgiveness - I keep doing it over and over every time he does something else underhanded and sneaky. Yes I know when it all comes down it's just the horned dude keeping me down but I have struggled with this for so long and it's such a horribly complicated issue with alot of twists and turns I am just at the point that I am waiting for him to be gone.

So now you hate me and will de-blogroll me and spread ugly internet rumors about me but really I'm all about honesty with you my darling amigos.

Now that I have that off my chest, I don't feel so bad telling some other things about me that may make you cringe with disgust and never come back to my blog. But just to make it fun I will add some things that aren't true and make you guess which ones are real.

True or False? (Note: Please do not actually write T or F on your computer screen. Unless you really want to and/or you have an erasable marker.)

1.___Once I wrestled a polar bear and he won.

2.___I used to wear MC Hammer pants.

3.___Occasionally I eat a whole pint of Ben & Jerry's at one time.

4.___I wanted my kids to say mama for so long and now sometimes I beg them to stop.

5.___I play air guitar and dance around singing to "Sister Christian" by Night Ranger.

6.___I think my kids are the cutest children God ever made.

7.___I told my sister she was adopted and showed her a fake adoption certificate when she was too young to read and she freaked out and it has taken my parents years to unconvince her.

8.___I really am a monkey who was part of a secret government experiment in an underground lab in New Mexico but I escaped and I had learned how to use a computer due to the shock therapy and hormone injections and now I pretend to be a human with human babies but secretly I want to return to the rainforest.

9.___I have a sick imagination.



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I'm a real live human person...the slightly wacky mom of 6 year old identical twin primate princesses and one 2year old monkeyboy. I'm divorced from a crazy baboon and remarried to a big snuggly gorilla. I thank God daily for my wonderful family and friends, without whom I would go berserk. My chirren are the cutest kids ever born (besides yours) and if you don't believe that you obviously need to see a shrink.

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