Last week Billy*was talking about not letting your emotions rule you. One of the benefits I have gotten from being an active student of the big JC is an increase in my ability to tolerate alot more verbal crud from other humans without either a. having thoughts of rebutting verbally and/or physically or b. actually rebutting verbally in a confrontational manner. As "they" say- I am manifesting more Fruit of the Spirit.

Lately, however, I have been running short in just about all fruit bins, and yesterday I almost had to beat someone with a big pineapple. After church I had this great plan to pack 5 adults and the monkeys in Bob and Sue's minivan and drive to the nearest mall which is about 1 hour 15 minutes away bc they have a really cool new toddler play area there that the girls love. And they needed to let out some steam with all the bad weather lately. It's a big open rectangular area with padded benches all around and just one place to enter and exit and the theme is the farm- there's big chickens and tractors and corn and stuff like that for young mammals to climb slide jump and generally frolic upon. The floor has a really thick padding too. And there's a big sign outside that says TODDLERS ONLY- NO FOOD OR DRINK- PLEASE LEAVE STROLLERS OUTSIDE. They have a height measurer thingy too and the kids are supposed be that height or shorter to play.

Needless to say there is open disregard for all these rules cuz there is no one there monitoring the area. The few other times we have been there have been a few bigger kids but nothing major. We had been there about 35 minutes yesterday when this entourage of idiocy entered. There was a mom- cell phone on ear, 2 teenage girls- one w a girlfriend and one with a boyfriend whom we would shortly learn was named "The Tongue," one female child about 6 inches over the height limit, and a male child who looked about 12-13 and was very husky. All were carrying biggie sized sodas and pretzels from Auntie Anne's.

They sprawled themselves out and both of these children proceeded to take off their shoes to play. Sue and I looked at each other like "Oh my gootness no she is NOT gonna let that boy play in here." But off he went, flinging himself wildly on top of the play structures and rolling off like a soldier, running berserkedly around, play fighting his sister, and generally being a big rough older boy who several times clipped some of the younger toddlers who were playing. Lucky for him he did not touch my churrens.

Meanwhile, the mating teenagers proceeded to dry hump just feet away from the mother who never removed the cell from her ear. The girl was sitting straddled across the boy and he was frantically groping her while periodically jamming his tongue down her throat to touch her tonsils.

Once again Sue and I looked at each other, rolling our eyes. In a kid's play area? Come on.
The big boy was getting wilder and wilder and the whole scene was not looking good. There was an aura of tension as all the other parents kind of looked at each other as if to say- he shouldn't be here but we're too wimpy to say anything.

Sue said "Hey- look!" A mall security guard was walking by- he had a striking similarity to Orville Redenbacher when he did commercials- both in age and demeanor. "HEY!" I screamed at him. He came over. I asked him who was supposed to regulate the play area bc there were quite a few older kids playing rough and somebody was gonna get hurt.




He looked around and of course the big boy stood out like a sore thumb, even thought there were like 5 other kids who shouldn't have been in there. He asked the mom to have the boy come stand by the height measurer. The boy starting crying like a big baby and ran and got up under his mom's arm. The mom finally got off the cell phone.

The boy sat there and weeped a while longer and his mom consoled him with soda and pretzel bites. Of course then, you know she had to start talking trash real loud so I could hear. I was thinking, "Please Jesus, restrain my mouth cuz I'm gonna have to go ballistic up in he-ah." I tried to focus on watching the girls and she kept on making comments and had to call someone and tell them what had just happened.

The little sister came up and asked why her brother couldn't play anymore and the mom answered loudly, "Because THAT lady is not nice, honey" and a bunch of other malarkey type caca intended to tick me off. Which of course it did.

What would have happened next if I did not have such treeeee- mendous self control given by the Holy Spirit:




(slightly exaggerated) that's me in the red


What really happened: I ignored her and we left and her son probably started playing again.

On one hand, I'm glad I didn't say or do anything directly to her bc about 10 years ago in that same situation I totally would have confronted her as soon as they entered and been arguing with her, at the minimum. On the other hand, in my mind I was thinking of a good dozen things I could say in retort to her big smart mouth comments.

I definitely need fertilizer for my fruit tree.

But then again, I think- was I wrong 100%? bc her kid cried and I don't want a kid to cry bc of me, no matter how bratty he is. See, there I go being sassy again. But I didn't want my kids getting hurt.

Tell me what you think. Really. Be honest. No, seriously. I promise I won't put you in a headlock,


*a new blog I have started reading- great writing and awesome photography btw