It's not vanilla.
Monday, May 02, 2005

In my office we are all about some gadgetry. The latest, the greatest, the coolest stuff- you name it, we got it. Laptops, check. Handheld computers, check. Flat panel monitors, check. Internet webcam, check. We don't deal with paper honey, it's all computerized. I cannot go into details about why we need it because it does serve some actual job-related purpose but imagine my sheer delight when I came in today after being off on Friday and found this on the break area counter.
iceicebaby What is it??

Oh yes. Ice, ice baby. We gathered around it and peered into the condensation laden window at the wonder inside. Ooooh. Aaaah. Iiiiiiice. As I said, it was purchased for an actual reason, but since we can use it too, in our minds we were picturing ourselves leisurely strolling to the back of the office, filling up our cups with Culligan water, then helping ourselves to a nice big frosty scoop of heaven. No more going down the back hall of the building to the dirty shared communal break room and popping cubes out of flexible trays like peons. Oh no. We got ice in the office.

All day long we would wander back and stare through window at the awesomeness of it all. Ice is nothing special. It's frozen water for pete's sake. Get it anywhere. Dag, go to the North Pole it's all u can eat. But BAM- red light goes on....ADD WATER! Run run run get some water. Not faucet water, bottled water. Special water for the special shiny silver machine. It's not hooked to any plumbing or nothing dude. It's is a genuine freestanding self contained newfangled ice maker. Okay so you're a millionaire and you have three of these but dude, it's still cool.

I had an image flash in my mind from 100 Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. Has anybody read that? He's a kid and he's never seen ice bc he lives like in a remote village and these people come through and they have actual ice in a chest or trunk or something and the people go to look at it and they've never seen ice before so they're all like "wooooow" like it's not real or something.

"Many years later, as he faced the firing squad, Colonel Aureliano Buendia was to remember that distant afternoon when his father took him to discover ice."

Have I completely lost you? Anyway, it's cool. (HA.)
Now all we need is
this and this.


Can you hear it echoing in your head yet?


All right stop, Collaborate and listen / Ice is back with my brand new invention Something grabs a hold of me tightly / Then I flow like a harpoon daily and nightly Will it ever stop? Yo -- I don't know / Turn off the lights and I'll glow/ To the extreme I rock a mic like a vandal / Light up a stage and wax a chump like a candle

PS for some strange reason I have this song stuck in my head too.


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