What do you say to your children's father/ex husband when he calls for the first time in like 2 weeks and wants to know "how they're doing"?????? Umm, let's see, they're still alive and breathing which is basically what you want to know. Why do I even bother trying to go into some details like they're getting their eyeteeth, they're starting to talk ALOT and say silly stuff, they love telephones and playing in the sandbox, when the response is gonna be "Oh really? That's cool. " Did you hear anything I just said?

Everyone tells me I shouldn't but I feel really really bad for my children because they don't have a real dad. The response is typically, well by the time they get to school and start noticing the difference, most of the other kids' parents will be divorced too, or they have other men in their lives who love them, blah blah blah. It's just not the same to me. I'm mad that their dad sucks and won't grow up. It's so unfair to them. But then I think that if I keep them from him, when they get older they will be mad at me because they will want to know why and how and all that other angsty preteen stuff. Last year at the carnival I saw a happy family with the dad carrying the kid on his shoulders and another one with the dad buying the kid ice cream and I got sad and started crying. Most of the time I'm okay but I want my kids to have that too. It's so not fair for them.

Yes I know that there are kids with no parents and kids in orphanages etc etc but these are my kids that I grew myself and I want them to have everything I had as a kid. Don't tell me you're sure they will grow up just fine and they'll be okay cuz I've heard all that a billion times. Why can't I just be mad at the situation sometimes and have that be okay? Roar.