Okay remember I was telling you that on Thursdays we work in a satellite office? It's like 45 minutes away and we carpool. My boss/owner of where I work drives and he picks us up on the way. My girlfriend and I park our cars together in front of an old store that has an awning in front. We were standing out front waiting today, like kids at a bus stop, and these swallows that have nests under the eaves started freaking out and flying around screaming cuz they thought we were gonna mess w their babies. I think the nests still had eggs bc I didn't see any little birdie heads poking out like this.

We were standing there talking about how beautiful they were when they started totally dive bombing us getting closer and closer in circles. Dude, I was thinking Alfred Hitchcock for real. Then she says, "You've been hit." No way. One had poopooed on me. On my skin. On my collarbone. I didn't even feel it. I was so disgusted I'm sorry - I know it's all natural and organic and all that but it's BIRDPOOP ON ME.

I couldn't bear to look down. I stood like a statue and closed my eyes while she got tissues out of her car and wiped it off. Thank goodness my boss had antibacterial wet wipes in his truck or I honestly don't know if I would have been able to function the rest of the day. I think I have permanent psychological scarring. And another thing- k8 got no sympathy. Everybody was all like oh it's no big deal, why are you so upset? If an evil bird pooped on MY friend, I would completely be giving them the sympathy, you know along the lines of oh I feel so bad for you, yeah that's gross, yada yada. But no. Nothing.

A swallow pooped on me and I need love and pity.