Specific Instructions on How to Go Insane
Friday, May 06, 2005

1. be off work
2. hear your kids waking up nice and early.
3. get up and look outside. see that it is raining like a monsoon.
4. listen to your kids whine that they don't want that or that or that or that for breakfast.
5. watch a baby rabbit pee on you.
6. keep trying to use the computer.
7. listen to your kids scream bloody murder every time you sit in the computer chair.
8. use the computer for 3-5 minute increments all day because of #8
9. have no one call you all morning.
10. feel sorry for yourself.
11. hear your kids screaming over toys and whining every 10 seconds bc it's raining and they can't go outside and they want to make each others' life miserable.
12. put your kids down for a nap and decide to lie down and try to go to sleep.
13. have 4 people call you in a row.
14. give up on the nap and get up to have some peace and quiet to use the computer.
15. hear your kids wake up from their nap an hour early.
16. listen to your kids scream that they don't want that or that or that for a snack.
17. answer the phone and have the person who was going to come babysit so you could escape and go to the chiropractor and tanning bed tell you they're sorry that they can't come 15 minutes before you were supposed to leave so there is no way you can find a replacement.
18. hear your children say ma, mama, or mom for the three thousandth four hundred forty third time.
19. call your job and ask your friend to bring your check by since now you can't go get it to deposit it.
20. wait for your friend to come.
21. 20 minutes after they should have arrived, call your friend and ask where they are.
22. listen to them tell you they're so sorry they forgot.
23. run into your bedroom
24. post on your blog to vent& relieve your frustrations.
25. continue feeling sorry for yourself as your kids scream mamamaamamamamama.


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