Monday, June 06, 2005


As warm weather arrives across our fair country, I feel it is my duty to deal with a necessary but unpleasant issue we are all faced with either having ourselves or being forced to view: toe cheese. This avoidable condition is much more common in the male species, though there are some females who fall through the cracks as well. If you are the wife, mother, or daughter of a male who slaps on the sandals when warm weather hits without taking the time to examine his tootsies, please bring this to his attention.
I'm sure you will agree there is nothing worse than looking down at someone's feet and doing a double take bc there is a large wad of black sock lint or other substance of indeterminate origin wedged tightly in the corners of the big toenails. Gug and double gug.
Do yourself or loved one a favor and examine your feet carefully before exposing them in public, or at home for that matter. Ask yourself these questions:
Are the corners of my toenails clean? If not, grap the nearest sharp object, be it a key, tweezers, paring knife or screwdriver, and dig that cheese out!
Are my nails cut? No one's asking you to get a girly pedicure, but at least trim those dragon talons down to a nice manageable length.

If everyone takes these two easy steps to pedi-health and maintenance, all inhabitants of our lovely planet will have a more pleasant summer. Now, about those eagle eyebrows...


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