Struck by disaster on all fronts, corporal.
Sunday, May 22, 2005

This afternoon we went to Graceland. Or, I should say, we drove to Graceland. Sweet santa in a sleigh, this whole Elvis thing is bigger than I ever could have possibly imagined. I was thinking, you go there, you walk up, you buy a ticket, you go in on a tour. How difficult could it be? Let me tell ya.

Well, the whole Graceland complex takes up both sides of the highway, which by the way is Elvis Presley Blvd. You park on one side of the highway, and you get shuttled over to the mansion proper. On the parking side, you can take a separate tour of all Elvis' airplanes if you want. There are like 4 or 5.

It was soooooooooooo busy today we could not get in. We're going back tomorrow. I walked over to look over the wall at the house and you can barely see it from the road. But dig this. On the long stone wall outside, and all on the sidewalk, billions of people from all over the world have written all this stuff like messages to Elvis, etc. They cover every square inch. It's totally incredible. I took alot of pictures but why I can't show them to you right now is a whole different issue, which I will address also.

Then since we couldn't get in we went to check out the gift shops. There are many many but if you're a true devotee of the KING you must purchase your Elvis memorabilia from the officially licensed store. I went in two ( licensed & unlicensed by Graceland) and really, Elvis may be dead but people are making an EVERLOVING MINT off of his name, signature and likeness. I thought I had seen merchandising in every form until I saw what I saw today. No wonder Priscilla can afford to have plastic surgery out the yingyang and Lisa Marie can make all the cruddy records she wants and it doesn't matter if they don't sell because they are rich richrichrichrich filthyrich from all the Elvis merchandise.

Of course you had your choice of the usual touristy trap stuff like magnets, keychains, shirts, mugs, postcards, and more, but here is a short list of things that absolutely boggled my mind:

"Nuttin but a Hound Dog" stuffed canines in many colors and species, not just hound. price$10-$50
"Let Me Be Your Teddy Bear" teddy bears in all colors and sizes. $8-40+
Xeroxed plastic wrapped copies of Elvis Aaron Presley's Last Will and Testament $2.99
Candlelight vigil candles with Elvis's Picture and date of birth and death $1.99 (just plain white candles like you buy 10 for a buck and the picture wasn't even printed on, it was a plastic sleeve)
Stuffed replicas of Elvis's favorite horse Risin' Sun $5 and up
Fake Beanie Babies Bears with airbrushed Elvis on tummies, wide variety including young old skinny or fat Elvis $15.00
Elvis Sweet Lips lipgloss (like chapstick) $4
Cookin' w Elvis: Elvis shaped cookie cutter $10, potholder w peanut butter banana sandwich recipe, $8, bottle of Elvis "spices" $10, In the Kitchen w Elvis Recipe Book $15.99
Takin Care of Business Graceland Security Guard Patch $8 (various other TCB logo merchandise also available)
Plastic cat and dog food can covers with pictures of Graceland $3
Graceland- What a Crib! baby bibs blue or pink $8
3Dimensional Graceland mansion puzzle $40.00
DVD Tour of Graceland $40.00
Black or Pink Satin Jacket with Plush Elvis signature on back $80.00+
Plastic Elvis Pocket Tape Measure $2
Graceland Cocktail Shaker $30
Elvis glasses with attached sideburns $13
Lifesize standup Elvis choice of young or old $40

And this really just skims the surface of all the stuff that was in there. There's a sign that says no pictures cuz I was gonna show you inside the store. You may try to bootleg your own unlicensed Elvis crud.

So we did go to some other cool places I'll tell you about when I have time. But not tomorrow during the day anyway cuz we going back to the mansion in the am to get the grand tour.

Now that my bro is here w his laptop GUESS WHAT???? The modem in our room doesn't work and they have no extras. Obviously I'm destined to not post pics til I get home right? Oh well.

One more thing it is craaaaaazy hot here like 90+ every day- I can't stand it- it makes my hair limp.


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