Today I felt my stomach leap out of my body as I watched my child fall on her head down about 5 steps on a set of steep old wooden stairs. I'm sure you've heard the saying "Having a child is like having your heart walk around outside your body" or something corny like that. But man, I tell you, it is so very true. The depth of emotion you feel for your children is so freaking intense. Not that they don't bug the everloving frootloops out of me a large portion of the time, but that's life. I have to tell you though, as I watched her bang down repeatedly on her big pumpkin head, although my first instinct was to gasp, and I felt nauseous for about an hour afterwards from the adrenaline, I did not panic (for longer than 2 seconds,) I simply grabbed her as fast as I could and held her to me and shushed her while I was examining her noggin for injuries. I had a feeling of calm security that no matter what if anything was wrong with her, I could get through it. Because of the guy I met.

(I know that alot of peeps who read what I write here are not Christians and that's cool. I still love you the same. I think that alot of what's wrong with organized religion today is that there are too many wacked out extremists trying to push Jesus down peoples' throats. Just turn on the Inspirational Channel any day and you can see it. Christians who read this will think, well, if you don't try to convert people to Christ you are not fulfilling your obligation. True that. But my personal perspective is although I do consider myself a big Jesus freak, how will I ever show God's love to someone if they run away screaming after they talked to me bc I told them they were gonna burn in Hell? Can't there be a happy medium where I show you what God is like through me but I don't have to choke you with it? I think so. Of course though at any given time you can find at least 500+ people on the internet who will disagree with what I say. But this ain't their blog. HA!)

The depth of love I have for my kids is second only to the depth of emotion I have for God. Gasp! Yes, it's true. But because I know God and I are tight like that, I can have that security of knowing He has my kids' back as well as mine. That does not mean I think nothing bad will ever happen to me or my kids, it means I can get through it with a peace that comes only with Him.

Okay, it's getting too religious for you now, but listen- I have been there and done that with all the other stuff- Wicca, Ouija Boards, New Age, tarot, astrology, crystal "power," Happy Slappy Postive Thinking, Psychological and Philosophical reasoning, blah blah you name it I've tried it. That's how I have something to compare my life to now. That's how I know Jesus is real. That and a million other reasons but I couldn't begin to tell you in this widdle post. That's how I also know that you can't make people believe something just because you believe it. The only thing you can do is be an example to them and share things with them that happened to you, like what happened to me today, and pray that they will get the lightning bolt you got when you finally realized the truth.

Have I lost you yet? I'm starting to ramble, so let me finish telling you about the guy I met. He is the only one who could have possibly kept me here on this planet in spite of everything I did in my short but wacked out 33 years, and most especially through the past few years, fer sure. And today as I watched my poohbear Hannah Grace fall down the stairs. Do you know His name?



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