I know I have an attitude problem so don't even bother thinking it.
Thursday, June 30, 2005

Main Entry: 1 whine; verb
Inflected Form(s): whined; whin·ing
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English to whiz; akin to Old Norse to whiz intransitive
a : to utter a high-pitched plaintive or distressed cry b : to make a sound similar to such a cry 2 : to complain with or as if with a whine 3 : to move or proceed with the sound of a whine transitive senses : to utter or express with or as if with a whine- whin·er noun- whin·ing·ly
/'hwI-ni[ng]-lE, 'wI-/ adverb

Synonyms beef, bellyache, carp, crab, croak, fuss, gripe, grouse, growl, grumble, kick, moan, murmur, mutter, repine, squawk, wail, whine, yammer

Related Words object (to), protest, quarrel (with); cavil, quibble; fret, stew, worry; blubber, cry, sob; bemoan, bewail, deplore, lament


Wow! I feel so much better after reading
Christi's post! I have been feeling so incredibly sucky, both
physically and mentally the last few days. When I try to form a happy post in my head, nothing appears except whine whine whine complain, moan, etc, etc. I was thinking that my ranting in a whining fashion would irritate readers, therefore driving them away to bloglands where people have lots of happy blinkies and tell cheery andecdotes about their cats, travels, and grandchildren. Because while I do enjoy writing, it really makes me happy that people come here and visit me and sometimes if I'm super lucky they even leave comments. I will not lie and say that I am a strict pleasure blogger. I like you and everybody else who reads what I write.

So instead of detailing my complaints here I was just gonna not write anything. But after reading what Christi wrote, I said to myself, wow she was griping and I still enjoyed reading it, bc I have the human instinct to sympathize with her situation and try to make her feel better. But don't get me wrong - that's not why I'm writing this post- to try to get you to say oh honey it's okay cyber kisses etc. (Though I don't have anything against that line of thinking.) I'm writing this to get this trash out of my brain in the hopes that it will be like a mental enema, flushing the negativity down the typing toilet. Sorry for the gross reference.

Okay I have sinusitis, tonsillitis, and my freaking back is making me flinch in agony evry so many seconds. When I went to the chiro Wednesday, it was all she could do to get me moderately aligned bc my muscles are so freaking tense from all the stress in my life. STRESS??? you say? You have no stress compared to the citizens of third world countries.You should be glad you have a job, a house, a car, an air conditioner, 2 beautiful children, a loving family, yada yada blah blah. You're even going on vacation to Mexico in August- do you know how many people would give their eyeteeth to have a wooooonderful trip like that?

But alas, regardless of the perks of being the Monkey Mama I still manage to disregard the positives and dwell on the negatives too often. I think it's the combination of alot of things making me tense. And the main thing that has me down is that right now in my Christian walk I'm not walking, not even crawling for that matter, I'm laying on the floor scraping with my fingers to push myself forward like, a millimeter. I have not been talking to God enough about my problems. Sadly to say I have let a mere mortal drag me down into the dumps. And if you remember my post about the alleged pastor of my church WHO IS NOW GONE GONE GONE THANK YOU JESUS AS OF YESTERDAY you know what I'm talking about. And if you didn't read it that's probably better for you because you might think I'm a blasphemer.

I know I should not let a cruddy pastor incident cloud my life but it has put a shadow over everything. And that's why I feel sorry for the new Pastor who preaches for the first time Sunday bc I want somebody to like zing me awake spiritually and cheer me up. And I know I should depend on God to do that not a man but I'm being honest here. I can gladly say that I have never lied on my blog...I have been 100% honest about everything. I even post pictures of myself which some people don't do for whatever reason even though I am the fattest I have ever been in my life. That's another issue altogether.

And I know you're thinking why don't you just leave the church if it's making you that miserable but it's more complicated than that and I'm not gonna hash that scenario out again here.

Let me just say that I have thoroughly enjoyed carping and crabbing and fussing and growling tonight and I am hoping my cloud will lift and I will start feeling better soon.

(smacks self on cheek) "Snap out of it!"


ps also while I'm at it my kids are driving me nuts in general (constantly these days) and I very often lately want to run out of my house and down the street pulling my hair and letting loose a primal bloodcurdling scream/war whoop but I suppress it.


ok bye.

Back is cracking, ducks are quacking.
Wednesday, June 29, 2005

The girls at the park last Friday with my Grandma and her hubby whom the girls call Opi. Camera phones pics- not so clear. My dad was sprinkling crackers by their feet so the ducks would come right up to them. They were digging it, because as you know, monkey and ducks have a long social history.

i am so throbbing in pain dudes! my neck and back went out and i went to the chiropractor and now it hurts freakin' worse than before! so i have nothing clever to say except don't be dissin' the chiros- i couldn't have made it through my pregnancy without em. my boss thinks chiropractors are quacks(ha!) but I know the truth so there. i have to take a muscle relaxer and collapse now that the monkeys are bunked up for the night. i will c ya 2 morrow!


ps i'm sorry PETA! the girls misunderstood when I asked for duct tape.

Clear your brain between paragraphs, please.
Tuesday, June 28, 2005

I have a bad habit of not leaving well enough alone combined with the tendency to just screw around with my template when I'm bored. That's why something is weird if something looks weird to you. Hopefully Echo will get my email and help me fix it soon, like she has nothing else to do. I cant figure out why all my posts are wacked out font wise. One day instead of being normal they all started coming out big and green when I publish them. It's so annoying bc Echo set it up to post in a really cute font and color that matches my blog. I promise i didn't do nuttin to it. It just started happening.

Right now I am so sad for these guys on TV. The show is Average Joe. I promise I didn't turn it on purposely; my tv was on NBC from watching the Today Show this morning. All these not stereotypically hunky guys are trying to "win?" this model looking gorgeous chick. Most are dorky/nerdy according to society's standards. I don't want them to get their feelings hurt, they're so nice. Why are they subjecting themselves to this public abuse? I don't get it.

My computer is like a silent magnet in my house when my kids are sleeping. I say to myself, "I'm not getting on the internet tonight." or "okay I'll just check my email." or "Okay just 10 minutes and that's it." Yuh, right. I mean there are so many more productive things I could be doing with my time like...umm watching tv? reading a real live paper book? folding towels? making origami swans?

I'm psyched for our Vacation Bible School this year. I'm always the craft chick.

This is the theme.
And, oh yes, a safari means monkeys, kids, lots and lots of monkeys. Of course I'll throw in a few other random safari animals but count on plenty of primate craft action boys and girls. The possibilities are just beginning to form in my wittle brain. They give you a craft suggestion book but I alwasy just trash that bad boy and come up with my own stuff. I mean, you can only get so excited with crafts made from toilet paper tubes right? Kids want fun fun action and that's what I give em. Can't wait.

I'm in charge of committee at church for our new sign. That's what prompted the previous post. I found that in an internet search. Don't worry it's not a real church sign. I made it with the sign generator program because I thought that would be hilarious to see on a church sign but it was only a joke so don't git yerself all worked up over it. Or do, if you wanna.

Maybe it's because they're not screaming but my babies are precious when they're sleeping. Especially their fat little feet. I snuck in and took these to show you the fat pigs. They're a little blurry bc it was dark.
sweeties 015
sweeties 019
I could chomp em!

okay i'm stopping now since I have to be at work at 7am. Yucko!

xo k8

ps BTW speaking of PETA (2 posts down)
this is a trip!

When I was by myself in the bathroom and I laughed out loud, the lady who was waiting looked at me weird.
Monday, June 27, 2005

I have had these two pictures on my phone for so long I can't remember when I took em. I finally remembered to send them to myself via email so's I could post them. Finally I've found someone to show the crazy stuff I see that makes me laugh to...YOU! I took these w/ my phone so they're a little blurry.

Here's an antique wooden postcard I saw in a junkshop near Monkeyville
In case you can't see it says "It starts when you sink in his arms...and ends with your arms in the sink!" HA! I need to remember this for if and when I ever gits me a man.

Here's a sticker that I saw in the bathroom at the grocery store.
It's a PETA sticker that says "I am not a nugget!" and someone wrote above it "yes U R." I laughed out loud, for both the humor of the sticker, (like that would make me not eat chicken), and the comment over it.

Okay I know you've been living in suspense to find out where I'm going on vacation. Well, I started out w the Dominican Republic, then I ruled that out when I saw how close I would be to Haiti. The whole government unrest/guerilla warfare thing is just a liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiittttttttttle creepy for me. I know it's a big vacation destination but I can't do it. Right now anyway. Then I went through all the other Caribbean islands, no , no, no, no, Hawaii, too expensive unless I stay w Sandy but my mom and sister will be there too so can't do that, then I came up with ...MEXICO! Since I speak Spanish and it's a good deal for flight and resort packages, it's perfecto! And yes, I'm getting prematurely excited but I haven't had a real good vacation like this since my honeymoon and we're not even gonna go there.

We're going to the
Riviera Maya Soooooo exciting. We're gonna do it all...snorkelling, swiming w dolphins, Mayan Ruins, discos, yeah baby! Of course by we I mean me and my sister though my mom may go with us on some. I can't wait. (Echo, you're small enough to squeeze in a suitcase if you can find a babysitter!)


ps every time i try to use the computer now, Hannah first tries to lure me out of the room by yelling "I pooped mommy, I pooped", and grabbing her butt. Now that I've caught onto that trick she tries to bully me by pointing to the floor out in the hall and saying "OUT mommy, get OUT." I have no idea where she gets this bossy behavior from at all. ahem.

You know it will be a good week when...

...you come into your office on Monday morning and the Message Waiting Light on your phone IS NOT BLINKING!!!! Thank you Jesus.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

okay guess where i'm going on vacation unless you know already cuz that's not fair.
here are some hints.

a USA Today top international travel destination

Travel Weekly reader's choice award winner

an enormous geographical and climatic diversity

an abundance of wild birds, reptiles, mammals and marine wildlife

spectacular tropical marine life

one guess per person, please. employees of 2wildmonkeysinc are not eligible to win. tax title and tags not included.

this post is illegal

Levels of cuteness as high as this are banned in the US.

This is what happens when I say "Pull your shirt down please honey." Smart alecks.

2 extremes
Saturday, June 25, 2005

What I did this morning... <----(clickity clickerkins to see the pickerkins) play date with my best friend since 7th grade and her girls. High energy activity.

What I did this afternoon
memphis 015
At the beach with nobody screaming "mama!"
Low energy activity.

A lovely balanced day altogether, I must say. The universe is now in equilibrium once again.

I also liked Sea Monkeys and Shrinky Dinks.
Friday, June 24, 2005

In case you haven't noticed my brain is weird and I have these random thought paths in my cerebral cells that branch out into lots of bizarre ideas and/or memory flashbacks. The other day I was watching the monkeys in the sandbox and all of a sudden I had this memory flash of a really cool toy ( I guess it was a toy) that I used to dig...Magic Sand!!! Who else remembers this? You poured it in water and it wouldn't get wet and dude, you could like build castles and stuff then put it back in the bottle and reuse it. It completely ruled. What happened to it?

Whenever I am searching for something I just know SOMEBODY will be selling it on eBay. I just knew somebody would be hawking a vintage bottle of Magic Sand, but alas, no dice Pablo. Some UK people are selling some newschool MagicSand kit thingies but I wanted the Aladdin bottle. From what I could tell, they don't sell it in the US anymore only in Europe. I wonder why. Can you please look in your garage and see if you have any in some old boxes for me please bc now I am obsessed with getting it. Thanks.


ps in case you didn't know Blogger is rockin' a picture tool now where you can upload pics right into your posts if you want. try it you'll like it.

pps i am so agitated. every post i type is coming out in a wacked font like this is showing up green and large print on my computer. whassupwiddat????

Kick me in the head, Jesus.
Thursday, June 23, 2005

Some people my age are still partying. Some people my age have 8 kids and have been married 10 or more years. Some people my age have never been married, some are divorced like me. Some people my age are on their second or third marriage.

Some people my age have no ambition in life; others are climbing the corporate ladder. Some people my age have had perfectly happy lives without alot of drama or stress. Some people my age have had very hard lives already.

Some people my age are already filthy rich and living in mansions. Some people my age are making minimum wage. Some people my age never graduated from high school. Some people my age are just finishing medical school.

Nights like tonight when I can't sleep and I'm bored out of my everloving skull I wonder what my life would be like if I hadn't made choice A out of A B C or D. One little decision, one little moment of going somewhere and meeting someone who introduces you to someone else can totally make the entire difference in your whole life. What seems like nothing at the time can be the turning point of everything when you look back.

If I had not made the choices I did in my life, maybe I would be richer, more successful, or somewhere completely different but I would not have my kids. I wouldn't trade them for one split second of being able to go back and switch up anything I did. No matter how many times Hannah screams "cookie" at the top of her lungs until she makes herself barf.

Help me Lord, to stop comparing myself to others and wondering what might have been. Thank you God, for my life, my job, my family, my blogger friends, and baby throwup.



Coming to a town near you...
Wednesday, June 22, 2005

2 Wild Monkeys World Tour 2005

Exclusive Photos

Preshow Jitters

On stage.

(Please disregard items frenzied fans have thrown at them including 2 burgundy gorillas, a My Buddy with no pants, and a Scotty Dog purse.)

Addendum: This just in...mockup of song set for east coast wing of tour:

"Gimme CheeseNips with my Whine Mama"

"Sissy poo pooed so I poo pooed too"

"Animal Sound Jamboree" featuring kitties, puppies, sheep, and owls

"Pullup Party All Night Long"

"I got the no more Cheerios blues"

"Happy Meal Hoedown"

It's not too late to submit your request.

Do they like me mummy?

As blogging becomes more and more popular and more people jump on the blogtrain to bloggyville, blog related syndromes are bound to emerge.
Blog Insecurity: You post what you feel is a thought provoking or endearing post , or maybe it's just cute pix of the kiddos. You check and there are no comments. Panic sets in. You ask yourself, "who am I blogging for- myself? or the masses? am I blogging for internal reasons or external affirmation?" or maybe "does this blog make me look too fat?" or "is this template turning friends away- is it too busy? "are my blinkies causing nervous tics in readers with undiagnosed medical issues?"

Blog Envy: oh my goodness look at her new design, it's cooler than mine quick somebody get me a new template before i lose blogcredibility fer real.

Blog Surfing Fetish: Can't stop clicking next blog button...must read another blog...must comment on everything from aunt hilda's hairgrease to chocolate cake recipes

Blog Disgust/Obsession: Stalks blogs obsessively, thinks "this person is a real jerk" or "this chick is an idiot," never comments, yet returns daily to the url to see what's up.

Blog Blinkie Mania: can't stop searching for new cool witty blinkies for sidebar. gets ecstatic when she finds one nobody else has on their blog!

Blog Comments- Quality or quantity?

Blog Posting- Poco or mucho?

Blinkies: Nice or Evil?

Unkymoods: Real person or Blogbot?

Beanies and Weenies: a delicious meal or a no-no?

This post: Semi insane or completely crrrrrrrrrrrrrrazy?

10, 9, 8, yada yada...blastoff!
Tuesday, June 21, 2005

Ay de mi! I have been tagged by Gina with the world's longest meme. Who invented these anyway? I actually have to think? I hate it when that happens.
10 words/sentences you love to say/say alot:
dude. (stretch out the vowel when you say it.)
do you want to go in time out?
por favor
give mommy kisses (i only say this to my kids fyi)
wanna do me a biiiiiiig favor?
put that down please.
friggosauros rex!
help me please Jesus!
9 songs you like but don't like to admit
Here I Am, the One That You Love- Air Supply
Electric Slide
Ribbon in the Sky- Stevie Wonder
Copacabana- Barry Manilow
Itsy Bitsy Spider
Oh Sherry- Steve Perry
Just a Gigolo- David Lee Roth
Pink Cadillac- Patti LaBelle?
Get Outta My Dreams Get into My Car- Billy Ocean
8 favorite items to wear
pink hibiscus bathing suit
bamboo sole flip flops that are falling apart bc the girls put them in the kiddy pool
Fresh Produce pink dress
Fresh Produce green dress
college signet ring
the ring I always wear on my left middle finger
mini hair clippy things
pink lipgloss
7 sexiest celebrities or famous people ( i can't believe i'm doing this)
vincent donofrio
the police guy on crossing jordan who was in stand by me- jerry something?
sean connery
harrison ford
benjamin bratt
eddie vedder
matthew mcconaughey
6 most irritating celebrities
michael jackson
paris hilton
leonardo dicaprio
olsen twins
5 fave things about summertime
long days
grilling out
4 places with wacky names (okay now i'm really questioning the mental state of the person who wrote this)
lake titicaca
hindu kush
pacifica, ca
3 books you've read most recently
the bible not the whole thing at once but some every day
the mermaid chair
a janet evanovich novel
2 funniest gifts you have given
an elvis memorial candle
a ceramic matador bust
1 thing you fear but find wildly intriguing
potty training twins

the insanity must stop! i tag nobody.
no wait, christi, just to irritate her and bc she has nothing else to do. and if you want to do it, knock yerself out!

added wednesday morning: okay i will admit i had a little fun doing this. and i forgot to tell folks to go to gina's and send a card to the family of the little boy who was operated on for the brain tumor. i did mine monday, gina!


1 daily wild ideal echo monkey life
Monday, June 20, 2005

Blogkids rule the world! (Isn't it totally freaky to see all the blog offspring from us three chicks in one photo on a blog? It's like an alternate universe or something.)

This is the reason I never post any pictures of myself smiling. It turns me into a slitty eyed chipmunk. Best to look mean and/or serious.

Rest of the photos here! I give this blogger meets blogger union a 5 out of 5 stars. I will definitely continue stalking them mercilessly.

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Just checking to let you know we just got in from our weekend mayhem a couple of hours ago. We had a wonderful time with Echo and Shanee and I'm hoping they still like us after meeting us live and in monkey person(s.) ha! Of course their kids are even cuter in real life than in blogdom. I will post pics tomorrow. Not mentioning that we got in a traffic jam and it took us 2 hours to make a 45 minute trip. We were supposed to be at the party at 12 and we got there at 1:30. Oy vey! I'm so sorry guys. It was worth it though, even if we couldn't stay super long. (insert emotional sniffle) You know a party rocks if hillbilly teeth are in the favor bags, right?

The girls didn't take well at all to their sleeping bag things and stayed up almost all night last night then acted like holy terrors today. I am completely thrashed bc we had a dad's day cookout at my sister's this afternoon before we came home. My sis made the best most delish lemon butter cream layer cake with lemon curd filling. If she ever blogged she could tell u about it, but evidently she has deccided she is too cool for the blogosphere. Chuh right. Okay I totally have to crash before my brain melts. Lawd have mercy, do I really have to be at work at 7am tomorrow? Say it ain't so.


ps love the bible verse today.( if you're reading this on sunday you can see it over there<---. if not, james 1:16-18)

Saturday, June 18, 2005

I should be running around like a madwoman, and not to worry, I will be doing that in a minute, but I just had to jump on the Dell or I wouldn't feel right all day. Today we're off to a blogger meets bloggers event- Echo and Shanee's fiesta. I'm looking forward to it! Picture me on the road w 2 wild monkeys. Yikes!

God's Promises are Rockin Cool!
Friday, June 17, 2005

Tonight my mom and I were out shopping. As we were going out of the shop it started to downpour but it was still sunny so we stood and waited for the shower to finish. My mom said "Ahoy ye maties a rainbow on the starboard side!" HA! no really she said"Look a big ole rainbow!" And waddaya know there it was the hugest jumbogigantic rainbow I have ever seen. I tried to take some pics but of course I couldn't get the whole thing on my camera phone just the part nearest us when it stopped raining altogether. I used my camera phone so it's kinds blurry but dude, it was cool.

The Bible says that God realized that man would remain sinful, so he decided never to curse the ground for our sake, and never to kill every living thing again as he had done with the flood. So God made a promise to never destroy the earth by a flood again. When God makes a promise, he keeps it. As a sign of his promise, he placed the rainbow in the sky whenever it rained.
God's sign that he would remember his promise was the rainbow. Did you ever wonder what a rainbow was made of? It is made of light. In fact, it is made of seven colors of light. It only occurs when it rains. The light of the sun shines through the rain, causing the light to bend (or refract) and reflect off the rain. The rain acts like a prism, splitting the white light into the colors of red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo (deep blue), and violet (purple). They always stay in the same order. It always forms an arch. Does this sound like a God thang? Yes, it is very orderly and dependable, just like God.
I do believe this was the coolest super hugest rainbow I ever did see! I wish you could have been there to see it too bc pictures really don't do it justice!!! It was gorgalicious to the max!

Blogging Trends & Etiquette
Thursday, June 16, 2005

Is it just my imagination (which I will admit is sick and twisted) or is everybody and their brother getting a new blog template these days? And is it also my imagination or are none as cool as mine? HA! Of course I'm not talking about yours, silly.

Other blogging trends sweeping the blogosphere:
Flickr Zeitgeist
Tickers (got me one right up thar)
Blinkies (there has to be a stopping point people, come on you're gonna give somebody a nervous twitch with those excessive blinkies) rotate, people, rotate the blinkies.
Stat Counters
Sidebar chat thingies

Blogging Do's and Don'ts
Please note: This is only my opinion and does not neccesarily reflect the views of the entire world wibe web, though it should bc I'm right like 99.56% of the time. I say this bc I'm pretty sure one or more of these will agitate somebody. So I'm not referring to you. Just remember that.

Do: Visit other blogs and comment when appropriate.
Don't: Beg for people to visit your blog in the comment. Desperate isn't pretty.

Do: Respond to questions in your comments.
Don't: Respond to every frickin comment so as to drive your comment numbers up and exude an air of faux comment popularity.

Do: Ask your readers' opinions in your posts.
Don't: Do it in such a way as too skew the comments all towards your particular point of view or obviously seek pity. If you want pity, seek it in a subliminal fashion, like I do.

Do: Use blinkies if you like them.
Don't: abuse the blinkies. As I mentioned before- too much blinky action=low reader satisfaction.

Do: post cute pictures of your kids.
Don't: post the same basic picture 6 times in a row (junior moves pinky 1 inch to left, junior smiles with 2 teeth showing, now 3 now 4) and bore your poor little readers to death.

Do: Say what's on your mind.
Don't: Get mad at me for saying what's on my mind.

Do: Add some more to this list
Don't: take it personally it's just fer fun!!!!!!!!!!!

Random Brain Fragments


In case you were wondering this rainbow has nothing to do with the post I just liked it so I put it there to make you feel happy. How do you feel when you look at it?

I'm getting geared up for the big voy-age this weekend. In case you didn't know I'm taking the monklets to rendezvous with Echo's kiddies and Shanee's baby Ireland on Saturday for their 3 yr bday party. It's the first time ever I've met some blogpeople. I'm surprisingly nerviosa. Will they like us? (nervously chews nails) What if they de-blogroll me after finding out I'm much more obnoxious in real life?

After the fiesta we're spending the night at my sister's which is halfway between. A real live sleepover? I got the girls those sleeping bags with the blowup mattress bottom part in the hopes it will be more bedlike than a regular sleeping bag and they'll stay in it. HA! Then on Sunday my parents are coming for a cookout and we're going to da beach. busy busy busy.

So, the mosquitos are so bad here right now I can't even take the girls outside. They're climbing the walls going bonko with energy. (The girls not the mosquitos.)

Don't you hate it when you shave your legs and you miss a strip and you're walking around all day with a big hairy stripe leg? Yucko.

Welcome, Baby Taryn.
Wednesday, June 15, 2005


Hoo-ray. Taryn was born today. Monkey love to Christi, baby, and family.

Speaking of babies, I will be sure not to leave my monkies with Taryn or any other young child unless it is either latex or stuffed. Lately their big thing with the babies is cooking them in their Little Tikes Tea Party Kitchen. You can fry a bigger baby doll in a pan on the stove with real sizzling sounds or shove a smaller one in the microwave and press the buttons a few times to get a "hot hot baby" as they say. Thank goodness there is no cannibalism involved since they don't eat the cooked or fried babies, they just wash them off and move on to other things. "HOT, mama! HOT baby." That's when you have to blow on it to cool it down. The things these kids think of, they scare me. Yet I am sickly amused at the same time. Ain't mommyhood terrific?

Tuesday, June 14, 2005

Sunday was a deliciously relaxing day. Mom and I went to the beach by ourselves for a few hours before our friends brought the girls down. The weather was so perfect and the sky looked like a little glimpse of Heaven. You know when you see something sooo beautiful and you have to take a picture? Then when you see the picture it doesn't look the same. The sky was so turquoise blue and the clouds were like poofs of bright white cotton ripped out of a pillow. But the pix don't capture it completely. Then later after we were home Dad took the girls outside to fly a kite for the first time. Well actually they were doing more falling down from looking up at the kite while running in circles, but they had fun anyway. Here's some snaps.

Monday was work and today I went over to my sister's to get a pedicure and shop around the area. Someone had told me about, tempted me actually, with monkey t shirts at Target. So I go there and guess what? No monkeys anywhere. Boo hoo. Oh well. I got lots of good stuff anyway. New denim capris and a new beach bag (pink of course) on clearance.

This morning Lily woke up with her eye swollen like crazy from 2 mosquito bites so she looked like she had gotten punched in the eye. Last year they had such violent reactions to bites I was hoping they would outgrow it, but no. I gave her Zyrtec and it's almost gone tonight. Also last night I felt so bad bc I was closing the bathroom door and Lily stuck her fingers in the opposite side at the same time and I squished her fat little ring finger. She was screaming bloody murder. I just about had a cow bc it turned purple and the skin was even ripped. This morning however, it was fine. Even though it wasn't my fault I still felt horrible. Ay, the perils of childhood.

Is it possible to put my kids in a protective bubble dome like that Geodome thing until they're at least 18? Thanks.


I'm boring myself with this post but...
Monday, June 13, 2005

...I can't write tonight. I have to go read everybody else's blogs that I haven't read in like forever. Mwah!

You may already be a weina...
Sunday, June 12, 2005

...if your name is Gina! Congrats to Gina Bo Beena who has been selected as the first place weiner in the monkey blogapalooza suggested subject contest. Her idea was...Blog Etiquette Guide. I will be blogging that subject this week when the creative mood strikes mes o stay tuned. really I liked everyone's ideas that's why everybody gets a prize.
If you're Gina you get the blue ribbon but if you're anybody else you get the green ribbon. Of course you can have this for your blog if you like but if you want to you can print it out and tape it on your shirt too.

Yesterday was the festvial at my church. I was the face painter. It was my first time ever and I had lots of fun. I took a few pics so here they are if you would like to see. If you want your face painted it's only 2.00 plus airfare to where you live.
memphis 004memphis 006
memphis 003memphis 002
As you can see butterflies were the most popular request though for boys I did alot of spiders and tiger faces. And cute puppy faces for little kids with a tongue drawn on right under their mouth I shoulda taken more pics oh well.

Excitement on the monkey homefront...we're finally meeting 2 lovable bloggers and their precious little pumpkins next Sat but i'm not gonna tell u who until afterwards ok u can guess if ya want.


Dude Where's My Display???
Friday, June 10, 2005

Okay like the contest and everything else computer related is on HOLD until somebody can help PLEASE help me figure out what happened to my computer. When I went to bed last night it was normal- the screensaver was running. This morning when I got up everything had shrunken to a tiny tiny size. When I go onto Explorer, the screen content is in the middle with two big wide margins on either side. It looks like this
So since my blog already big side margins the middle is super squeezed in and I have to squint to even read it. Things that dont work to fix it include rebooting, changing the font size on the view tab, changing the display settings, changing the monitor settings. Even on the desktop the icons are shrunk and so is the start bar at the bottom. Please I'm begging you if you know what to do or if u dont but u know somebody who's really computer smart ask em for me Puhleeze I'm going crazy putting my nose up to the screen plus my schnozola is greasy from the heat so I'm leaving horrible streaks on my monitor. No not really but almost. Gug!

I'm not the real k8 but I'm playing her on her blog.
Thursday, June 09, 2005

Stacy here, K8's little sis. The monkey mama is temporarily out of service at this time. She called and groaned something about not feeling good. Knowing how many readers she has out there in the blogosphere waiting with bated breath for the next installment of k8's unique thoughts and comments from the benign to the revolting, I felt it my duty to get off my lazy non-blogging behind and honor her request. K8 asked me to let everyone know that her contest (see below) is extended for another day or at least until she recovers from whatever malady with which she was stricken.
I have performed my civic responsiblity. Back to falling asleep in front of the T.V.

Wednesday, June 08, 2005


Yes, monkey maniacs, only 24 brief little hours left for you submit your idea for the monkeyblog-apalooza showdown. I do have to say, I am intrigued by the topics so far. Don't forget Rule # 47328478-B of the contest which states "All contestants may submit multiple entries on multiple days as often as the mood hits em." Also, some more good news- you do not have to be present at my house to win this contest. I know you were wondering but it's way too messy for guests right now.

Now for info about the prize...we're sorry that everyone who enters can't win the bigdaddyjackaroo prize but as your mom told you it's not whether you win or lose, it's how good you look doing either. All entrants will receive a consolation award based on their number of entries and creativity involved in dreaming up said entries.

If you are new here you are eligible as well. Just read the previous post and submit your creative witty or semicrude ideas for a topic for me to blog upon. And remember- normality will get you nowhere round these parts buckaroo.

Here's a question I though of for myself although I am not eligible to win- Is it sick to have so much fun wacking pictures out on Digital Image Pro? Cuz baby i'm addicted. The possibilities are endless which in my case can also mean scary. Email me your photos and tell me what you want added, taken away, colored, etc and I will work those puppies big time! I am all about some special effects, okay?

Alright I guess that's it folks. Love ya & want more of ya kids!


ps if kids were robots you could hit the mute button.

Now it's just a mild throb, thanks.
Tuesday, June 07, 2005

My brain was sucked out tonight by shrieking primates with snot the color of that green slime they used to drop on peoples' heads on Nickolodeon. It was painful and lasted about 3 hours but all the other parts of me survived. In case your kids won't take liquid antibiotics when they're supposed to, try Suprex- it tastes like sweety fruity yumyum that I call "the special banana juice." Slurpy slurpers. Not that I'm advocating anibiotics so don't get on my case all you anti medicine mommies out there. I'm just sayin' if yer kid won't take anything else when they have to- try this one.

There go my great blogging expectations for the evening- I promise I was going to write something very clever and witty to make up for the toe cheese incident but now nothing happens when I press play in my head.

So in lieu of that I thought we could have a little fun here boys and squirrels...why don't you the lovely readers and smart folks that you are suggest some possible topics for me to write about tomorrow- nothing boring please like Gee It's Fun Being a Mommy or Potty Training- When Are They Ready? Be a little creative -it could be anything, just anything in the whole world your big ole brain can pop out. Come on, give me some imaginative kindling for my big blogfire.
There will be a prize of some species for the topic I pick to expound upon.

Wait, is this a contest now? Yeah, that's it, I'm a having a contest!! My little blog is sponsoring a contest. Okay let's see let's expand the timeframe to get the action going here...48 hours. Crank up the computer and get ta thinking... hit me with your best shot- fire away. Now sing that song out loud. Even if you're at work just stand up and belt it out at your cubicle. Then be sure to tell me what happens.


nobody loves me.

Judging from the low number of comments and the hate email I received, in combination with the burnt emery board someone FedExed me, my readers did not like the toe cheese post yesterday. But you know what, that's fine. Cuz somebody had to do it and if I have to face low numbers and negative blogo-vibes due to that fact that I am the only one willing to stand up for global foot health, that is okay with me. I will be the pedi-martyr.

It's hard sometimes being the cutting edge blogger that I am. Into what category do I fit? Mommy blogger? Religious blogger? Primate blogger? Random freaky thought blogger? Gee, kids, it's like the middle school lunchroom and I'm wandering around with my tray looking lost and sad. NOT.

Ha! I'm sitting at Christi and Echo's table to annoy them. And if you want to sit with us, that's fine but be prepared to give up your dessert.

I'm going to blog tonite. Will it be about my children, Jesus, or earwax? I guess you'll just have to wait to find out.


ps i know it's annoying that everytime now you come here you hear an indian flute but it's the slideshow music and i like it there. so just grit your teeth and wait til it gets kicked to the archives. BA-DOW BABY this is MY BLOG. Mama's little piece of internet real estate. Cha ching. It's prime property.

pps mad props to yesterday's commenters yo.

Monday, June 06, 2005


As warm weather arrives across our fair country, I feel it is my duty to deal with a necessary but unpleasant issue we are all faced with either having ourselves or being forced to view: toe cheese. This avoidable condition is much more common in the male species, though there are some females who fall through the cracks as well. If you are the wife, mother, or daughter of a male who slaps on the sandals when warm weather hits without taking the time to examine his tootsies, please bring this to his attention.
I'm sure you will agree there is nothing worse than looking down at someone's feet and doing a double take bc there is a large wad of black sock lint or other substance of indeterminate origin wedged tightly in the corners of the big toenails. Gug and double gug.
Do yourself or loved one a favor and examine your feet carefully before exposing them in public, or at home for that matter. Ask yourself these questions:
Are the corners of my toenails clean? If not, grap the nearest sharp object, be it a key, tweezers, paring knife or screwdriver, and dig that cheese out!
Are my nails cut? No one's asking you to get a girly pedicure, but at least trim those dragon talons down to a nice manageable length.

If everyone takes these two easy steps to pedi-health and maintenance, all inhabitants of our lovely planet will have a more pleasant summer. Now, about those eagle eyebrows...

Testing a new cool (maybe, if it works) slideshow thingy.
Sunday, June 05, 2005

Can u see it? If not what do you see?

Garen Center June 05
View Photo Slideshow

People who don't think this is the cutest should be in therapy and/or on heavy medication.
Friday, June 03, 2005

memphis 036

Enjoy this post by June 3.
Thursday, June 02, 2005

I noticed something last night that made me wonder...who thought of this??? I was pouring my delicious ice cold glass of bedtime milk and I noticed that the jug said "Enjoy by June 3." When did we transition from having just the date on the jug? What about good ole "Expires June 3?" Is that too politically incorrect bc the word expire also means die and the milk board thought you would think you would die if you drank it after that date?And really who are they to command me to enjoy it before a certain date? What if I don't want to enjoy the milk? What if I have to drink it for medicinal purposes and I don't enjoy it? Should I not drink it if I can't enjoy it? What if I want to enjoy it after June 3 bc I sniff it and it smells okay? Will it not be enjoyable? What is wrong w our society for pete's sake?

ps who is pete?

Somebody Help Me!
Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Can someone please tell me what to do with bossy 2 year olds that have discovered hitting each other and other people and ME? Not hard I mean just not nicelike. When I say stop they don't they may even hit harder or pull hair or hit me. Then I'm in such shock cuz it's totally out of their nature and I don't know what to do. Where did they get this from and why does it come and go so erratically? Time out doesn't work bc I'll say "You're going in time out if you keep hitting" and they LAUGH AT ME or do it again. Then they will actually go sit in the timeout corner on their own and hit their own hand or arm. Spanking or hitting is just doing the same thing I'm telling them not to do, not that I don't believe in discipline but it's not the response to this, I know. Explaining why it's naughty behavior does not work.They're two. Most of the time they're so good. What up wit dat?

Calgon...take me away!

Wild Monkey Flashback: 1 Year Ago

Starting to go back to the beach reminded me of these pics from last year the first time we took the monks ---they hated it! When they saw and heard the ocean they started screaming like banshees.It took me forever to get them to put their feet down and Hannah never would the entire time. Here you see Lily digging gingerly but she had to be touching the blanket. (click to bigify pics)
goodlily1 Lily digs sand...
sandeater1 Lily eats sand.
Whiny Hannah sat pouting on my mom's lap the whole time. Look at that face!

Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker
Who's the Monkey Mama?

Location: Planet Twinstar, Monkeyville, United States

I'm a real live human person...the slightly wacky mom of 6 year old identical twin primate princesses and one 2year old monkeyboy. I'm divorced from a crazy baboon and remarried to a big snuggly gorilla. I thank God daily for my wonderful family and friends, without whom I would go berserk. My chirren are the cutest kids ever born (besides yours) and if you don't believe that you obviously need to see a shrink.

How is she feeling?

The Monkey Mama's imood is
My Unkymood Punkymood (Unkymoods)

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Contact me, the monkey mama. two_wild_monkeysatya hoo.com

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